Reevaluate the situation and listen for the promptings that will come to guide you in how best to communicate with your friend or family member. When you feel yourself stepping into that role of judgment or contention, stop. Most of us will have the urge to change our loved one's mind, but arguing is never the answer. Restate your boundaries, and if they refuse to respect you, offer your love and step away from communication with them. If the relationship changes to one of debate, argument, or negativity about the Church, you may have to create distance in your friendship. I respect you, and I want you to know that I have a testimony that isn’t up for debate.” Continuing the friendship is the best route as long as your friend honors your beliefs and standards. For example, you could say, “I’m really sad that you’ve made that choice, but I love you. Let your friend know up front how you feel about their choice and set a firm boundary. Creating awareness through honesty can help bridge the gap in a changing relationship. It may be appropriate to share with your friend how difficult it is for you to process their choice. Don’t miss a chance to be a good example.
Stick to your standards and the gospel guidelines. Be honest about where you stand and how you live your life. Just because your friend changed their mind about the Church doesn’t mean you have to hide your faith. Offer support to them while staying firm in your beliefs and continuing forward with unwavering faith. Ask them specifically what you can do to help them in this period of transition. Remembering that you can still be a friend, no matter what their beliefs are, plays an important part in helping them. Even if they are adamant in their choice, they might find it difficult to traverse uncharted waters. When people lose their faith, they often have symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other stresses that can be hard to deal with. Continuing to build your own foundation will help you move forward through your sadness from other’s choices. Then you can ask for increased faith in areas where you don’t feel as firm. It is powerful to concentrate on the foundations of your faith-those things you never question, the solid parts of your testimony-and feel the Holy Spirit confirm that knowledge to you. You can pray specifically for unwavering faith in the principles of the gospel. Pray that your testimony might be stronger to aid you and protect you from confusion and misunderstanding. Ask for hearts to be softened-yours and your friend’s-so that you can better understand and love one another. Pray for words to be put in your mouth so that you will say the best things to support your friend.
Pray for comfort, strength, and inspiration to walk alongside your friend while holding to the iron rod. Invoke the divine help that has been so freely offered to all of us to aid you in this difficult time.
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